Top Ten Things Darian Grubb Was Hiding On His Computer Screen
Editors’ note: Huston Ladner and S.D. Grady are credited with an assist as they also contributed to this week’s Top 10! 10. Was updating his … Continue Reading
Top Ten
Top Ten Pre-Race Rituals for Chasers Other Than Tony Stewart
10. Jeff Gordon: Burns an effigy of the creator of The Chase. After all, if not for him, he’d have five, maybe six Championships. 9. … Continue Reading
Top Ten Things Slightly More Useless Than The Chase…According to the Fans!
10. A knife at a gun fight. 9. Teats on a boar. 8. According to ‘old farmer’, most of my Top Ten lists. 7. A … Continue Reading
Top Ten Things Wild Card Hopefuls Have Up Their Sleeves for Richmond
*10.* Spare helmets and water bottles on standby… just in case. *9.* Cans of sardines mysteriously turning up under driver’s seats on a hot night. … Continue Reading
Top Ten Things Tony Stewart Really Wanted to Throw at Matt Kenseth
*10.* Originally, he wanted to throw a contract offer his way but now is glad he didn’t. *9.* A piece of ‘mystery debris’ but, as … Continue Reading
Top Ten Things Jimmie Johnson Was Thinking When He Declined To Speak To The Media At MIS
10. Here’s my chance to let all the air out of Brad’s coach’s tires for implying HMS is playing fast and loose with the rules. … Continue Reading
Top Ten Ways NASCAR CEO Brian France (et al) Plan to Add ‘NASCAR Flavor’ at Mitt Romney’s Fundraiser
*10.* Rick Hendrick will donate a small percentage of Dale, Jr’s winnings…in exchange for possible future Presidential Pardons
*9.* Jamie McMurray will appear on stage and pull a rabbit out of Mitt Romney’s as….er, hat.
*8.* Felix Sabates will allow all future campaign slogans to use his name, i.e. ‘Romney and Ryan (with Felix Sabates)
Top Ten Reasons Dodge is Really Leaving NASCAR
*10.* MOPAR engines only work their best when fully carbureted. Screw this fuel injection crap, we’re outta here!
*9.* Tired of incessant comparisons to “Dodge-Em” bumper cars every stinking time someone used the chrome horn.
*8.* “NASCAR? We don’t need no stinking NASCAR!”
*7.* Top execs running the company DO have ADHD–we’re in! We’re out! We’re in again! We’re out!–and were afraid they too would test positive for Adderall.
Top 10 Improvements Pocono Raceway Should Make Next
*10.* Loop-de-loop that doubles as Turn 4. We know it can be done after “Tanner Foust and Greg Tracy did it at the X Games!”:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e0Y8tmRYYiA
*9.* Giant sinkhole placed on the outside groove of the Tunnel Turn. Hey, it’s the drivers’ fault for saying it’s gotten too easy!
*8.* Pace car replaced by herd of local deer. Cars must follow regardless of where they wind up.
*7.* Blindfold the leader every 50 laps and see just how good his spotter really is.
Top Ten Possible Results of the Infamous ‘B’ Pee Sample
*10.* Positive; AJ is suspended indefinitely or until Brian France feels he’s “learned his lesson.
*9.* Negative; AJ is instantly re-instated, throws a huge party with noted guests Dale, Jr. and Shane Hmiel, and is invited by Brian to provide samples ‘A’ and ‘B’ The Sequel.
*8.* Negative; NASCAR asserts that the samples were tampered with and suspends AJ anyway.
*7.* Positive; AJ accepts his fate, along with a HUGE payoff from Penske and Ford, retires to mountain villa with his wife allowing Matt Kenseth to take over the #22 Ford.