NASCAR on TV this week

Top 10 Improvements Pocono Raceway Should Make Next

Convince this guy to shave that ridiculous beard to help reduce the drag while he’s racing. Be sure to bat your eyelashes, too … you know that’s how Genevieve gets what she wants out of him.

*10.* Loop-de-loop that doubles as Turn 4. We know it can be done after “Tanner Foust and Greg Tracy did it at the X Games!”:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e0Y8tmRYYiA

*9.* Giant sinkhole placed on the outside groove of the Tunnel Turn. Hey, it’s the drivers’ fault for saying it’s gotten too easy!

*8.* Pace car replaced by herd of local deer. Cars must follow regardless of where they wind up.

*7.* Blindfold the leader every 50 laps and see just how good his spotter really is.

*6.* Control the restart by having the random drunk guy in Section 405, Row C press a button whenever he feels like it. (Hey, anything can be better than what we have now!)

*5.* Hire start-and-park driver to come out of the pits every ten laps only to block Tony Stewart, Kyle Busch, and Kurt Busch. Then throw a caution flag to bunch up the entire field and see what happens.

*4.* Snow machine. Turn 1. It’s not like they’re being used in June and August!

*3.* Add a “gap jump”:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_DWAbC_f57U at the start / finish line to give real meaning to the term “Long Pond” straightaway. Then we’d really see who had the guts to go all out!

*2.* Lobby NASCAR to run the track backward … if you think it’s tricky enough now…

*1.* Continue doing exactly what they have been since it’s worked so well already.

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