_(Press release) Republican Mitt Romney’s Wednesday fundraiser in Charlotte will have a distinct NASCAR flavor. The event at the Duke Mansion is chaired by NASCAR CEO Brian France and his wife Amy. Co-chairs include NASCAR President Mike Helton and team owners Richard Childress, Rick Hendrick and Felix Sabates as well as driver Jamie McMurray.(Charlotte Observer / USA Today)_
Rick Hendrick promises to provide a hilarious bearded clown for the evening’s entertainment.
*10.* Rick Hendrick will donate a small percentage of Dale, Jr’s winnings…in exchange for possible future Presidential Pardons
*9.* Jamie McMurray will appear on stage and pull a rabbit out of Mitt Romney’s as….er, hat.
*8.* Felix Sabates will allow all future campaign slogans to use his name, i.e. ‘Romney and Ryan (with Felix Sabates)
*7.* Richard Childress will let all presidential limos bear the infamous ‘3’ on their doors.
*6.* Brian France initiates an investigation funded by NASCAR to figure out just who this Paul Ryan guy is.
*5.* France has agreed to perform one of his eloquent orations for which he is so well known.
*4.* France’s wife, Amy, will sit there and look pretty as she calculates how much she’ll get when she divorces him.
*3.* In an effort to fill seats, Mike Helton offers free tickets to an event of their choice in 2013 to anyone who can prove they voted for Romney come November.
*2.* Helton vows to shave off his cheesy mustache with a Romney / Ryan win in November.
*1.* Brian France admits that, if there is one thing to be learned from NASCAR’s failed ‘Diversity Program’, it’s to just go ahead and support the whi….other guy!
“Contact Jeff Meyer”:https://frontstretch.com/contact/14350/
