10. Must endure daily, three-hour lectures on “the power of staying positive” by Michael “Motormouth” Waltrip.
9. Forced to subsist on failed M&M’s candy that melts in his hand, not in his mouth until further notice.
8. Order Kyle to deliver pink slips, unarmed, to all the Kevin Harvick Inc. employees losing their jobs.
7. Has to hand carry $50,000 fine in pennies in a burlap sack from Mooresville to NASCAR’s Daytona Beach headquarters before competing at Phoenix.
6. Listen to brother Kurt berate his crew on the radio on repeat for 24 hours.
5. One month working on Jennifer Jo Cobb‘s crew. Then, maybe Busch will finally learn the meaning of hard work.
4. Clawing his way into contention for the 2012 Sprint Cup championship, then have someone nudge him into the wall and oops! Spin him out and ruin those title chances. It’s only fair.
3. Serve as Kurt Busch‘s crew chief under suspension, with the stipulation he can never be on time for pre-race inspection.
2. Must give speeches to second graders about how to play nice. No, wait, we got that one backwards: must receive speeches from second graders about how to play nice.
1. Thirty-six races in the pink car with kittens and little baby seals.
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