Race Weekend Central

NASCAR Stuff We Can’t Make Up: Nov. 7, 2007

In Frontstretch‘s newest feature, Senior Staff Writer Becca Gladden scours the NASCAR news front to bring you the week’s curious, offbeat, and just plain wacky news from the intriguing world of big-time stock car racing. Trust us, folks, these stories are all true – we just couldn’t make this stuff up!

  • Christmas shopping alert! Sam’s Club is selling a “Once-in-a-Lifetime Package NASCAR Insider’s Racing Experience,” which just went on sale Wednesday. Among the many features of this gift package are the opportunity to become an honorary crew member at the May 2008 Charlotte race, a hot lap around the track in the official pace car, and a spot in the Petty Enterprises suite from which to watch the race. Your cost? Just $24,800. I know for that price you’ll be tempted to stock up for all your gift giving needs! (Sadly, there is just one package available).
  • Last week, we mentioned that Tony Stewart attended a Halloween party dressed as Elvis Presley. Now comes word that Matt Kenseth went to a costume party at Jamie McMurray‘s house wearing a Bill Clinton costume. But here’s the really funny part – Matt’s wife Katie came dressed as Monica Lewinsky – giving a whole new meaning to the concept of NASCAR’s Oval Office.
  • On another office-related topic, Denny Hamlin‘s sponsor FedEx Kinko’s has been airing a commercial during the race broadcasts called “The Office Meeting.” The dialogue moves kind of fast, so you have to listen closely… but if you’ve ever worked in a corporation of any kind, you will definitely be able to relate to these characters:

Office Supervisor: OK, the presentation is tomorrow, so let’s make sure we all know our usual responsibilities. Jeff, you keep feeding me old information. Dean, I need you to continue not living up to your resume. Sue, you’re in charge of waffling.

Sue: Are you sure?

Supervisor: Jerome, you’ll talk a big game, then do nothing.

Jerome: Let’s do it!

Supervisor: Rick, can you fold under pressure for me?

Rick: Like a lawn chair.

Supervisor: And Ted, you just keep thinking everyone’s out to get you.

Ted: They are.

I wonder if the meetings at DEI sound anything like that.

  • Texas Motor Speedway would love to change the date of its fall race, due in large part to slow ticket sales in the fall compared to the spring. The reason? For the third straight year, the fall race in Texas coincided with the opening of deer hunting season. “We’re the most successful major-market speedway this circuit has, even with deer hunting season,” said Texas Motor Speedway president Eddie Gossage. “Imagine what it would be like if we didn’t go up against that every year.” Indeed. Now, remind me again why NASCAR is no longer considered a redneck sport?
  • If you miss out on the Sam’s Club racing package described above, why not console yourself with these affordable little trinkets. Found in the online store at RacingOne, the description of this Christmas ornament set reads: “Tony Stewart’s pit crew is an important part of any race day. You can show your appreciation for the tire turners on the track by hanging this Trevco® Stewart Mini Monkey Ornaments on the Christmas tree.” OK, we’re not sure about the connection between the mini monkey ornaments and Tony’s pit crew, unless it’s the use of – a monkey wrench?

Like I said, we just can’t make this stuff up. Until next week…

About the author

The Frontstretch Staff is made up of a group of talented men and women spread out all over the United States and Canada. Residing in 15 states throughout the country, plus Ontario, and widely ranging in age, the staff showcases a wide variety of diverse opinions that will keep you coming back for more week in and week out.

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