NASCAR on TV this week

BSNews: NASCAR “Official” Bilked in Ponzi Scam (& Other Stuff!)

Daytona Beach, Fla. (BSNews) – Secret agents from the Florida Department of Law Enforcement searched the homes of two Florida men, claiming they bilked over $5.4 million from NASCAR drivers, a police officer and even a “top NASCAR official.”

Apparently, the men – Henri Zogaib, a driver in the NASCAR-owned Grand Am series, and Ormand Beach businessman Paul Bellanca – promised investors a 40.8% return on their investments in iron and ore products. While details are still a bit sketchy, it appears the two ran a couple of companies under the names of Executive Investment Group and Diversified Investment Group.

Officers of the FDLE say that Zogaib gained the trust of NASCAR officials through his ties in the Grand Am series. While no formal charges have yet been made in the case, and no list of the driver’s names who might have been victimized has been released, simple logical deductions by BSNews staff has Brian France as the leading candidate for the “top-ranking official” listed as a victim after we asked him to comment on the case.

“We certainly use a lot of iron and ore products in our business. Our official response however, is that ‘NASCAR is learning about the allegations as well, and we are as eager as everyone else to learn about the facts of this case,’” he said as he randomly gestured towards a box in the corner. “Now that I think about it, I haven’t seen Henri around lately, but since he has such a nice French spelling of his name, and I am France, I’m sure he is not involved.

“As you know, I have been an executive for a long time and I am all for making NASCAR diversified. I’ve only just begun to look into this case myself, so I am not yet able to say anything really knowledgeable about it until we get to the bottom of it all.”

Further investigation by BSNews staff also revealed that “not too many” people felt sympathetic for “a former police officer scammed out of his life savings” in the case, and that the box in the corner that Brian so oddly gestured at during his interview was, in fact, a case of scotch.

Mayfield Considers Name Change

BSNews has learned that the embattled Jeremy Mayfield is considering a legal name change.

As part of the latest chapter in the NASCAR vs. Mayfield saga, NASCAR may be gaining an edge just by the shear drudgery of it all. On July 6, NASCAR said that Mayfield’s latest test was positive. Mayfield, however, says that another test, taken only 40 minutes after the first at an independent lab not hired by NASCAR was negative. BSNews believes that this has all just turned in a big pissing contest.

“When you look at 15 tests since May 1 and two have tested positive, why are they all negative for meth except two?” Mayfield asked during a recent interview. “I’ll tell ya, taking all these tests, people watching and all, it gets tiring and wears you down to the point that you just almost ‘can’t’ anymore and you want to change your name.”

Mayfield’s attorney has confirmed that the new name he is considering is Dick Trickle.

Truex to Run Guitar Hero scheme at Indy

Straight from a Earnhardt Ganassi Racing press release… the number one best-selling video game, Guitar Hero, returns to the track at the Indianapolis Motor Speedway as primary sponsor of Earnhardt Ganassi Racing’s No. 1 Chevy driven by Martin Truex Jr. This time, the popular video game franchise introduces their latest hit, Guitar Hero Smash Hits.

Ironically, BSNews has learned that Kyle Busch will also debut a similar paint job on his car at Indianapolis as well.

In an effort to apologize to legendary artist, Sam Bass, for smashing one of his works of art after a recent win in the Nationwide Series in Nashville, Busch’s entire car will be painted by the artist himself for this week’s Cup Series race. The paint job reportedly will feature exact replica paintings on the hood and sides of the car of the original guitar that Busch smashed. Bass reluctantly agreed to the project only if Kyle promised to try real hard not to crash it, that he (Bass) would be given free artist reign with the job and no changes would be made after he was done.

The result? Kyle Busch’s Toyota Camry will appear in this Sunday’s Brickyard 400, not with the familiar number 18 on the door but rather the Sam Bass guitar-adorned No. 0. The car is officially named the “Guitar Zero, Smash This!”

BSNews. Your first thought is our first name!

Stay off the wall,

Jeff Meyer

Frontstretch.com

The Frontstretch Staff is made up of a group of talented men and women spread out all over the United States and Canada. Residing in 15 states throughout the country, plus Ontario, and widely ranging in age, the staff showcases a wide variety of diverse opinions that will keep you coming back for more week in and week out.