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Voices from the Cheap Seats: BSNews – Expounding Upon NASCAR’s Asterisk
(Credit: Chris Owens)

Voices from the Cheap Seats: BSNews – Expounding Upon NASCAR’s Asterisk

Just before last weekend’s race at Atlanta, NASCAR President Mike Helton announced that, despite the fact that he missed three weeks of the regular season and despite what the rules say as to who can be eligible for the latest version of the Chase, Tony Stewart may participate in the Chase – should he qualify.

“I’ll remind everybody back earlier this year when we announced the format for the 2014 Chase, that announcement included some responsibility about the routine participation in the season in order to be eligible in the Chase,” Helton said. “Along with that importance of routine participation also came the asterisk, so to speak, about except in rare instances.”

Stu Padasso, BSNews’ chief BSologist, has obtained the full list of just what “the asterisk, so to speak” entails. Oddly enough, the list happens to read as such.

X. It has been raining all week and the only time available to mow the grass was during the weekend.

IX. You had previous plans for dinner at your mother-in-law’s and you know how she feels about all this racing nonsense.

VIII. You caught a severe cold from participating in a ALS Ice Bucket Challenge.

VII. You find yourself broke because you chickened out of a ALS Ice Bucket Challenge.

VI. You read/heard about something tragic in the news and were profoundly saddened by it.

(Credit: Chris Owens)

Tony Stewart finds himself possibly in the Chase because of one little exception. (Credit: Chris Owens)

V. You are possibly under indictment, no matter how unfounded the charges may be, for something.

IV. Dog chewed up your favorite pair of racing booties.

III. Took a week or two off to join protests in Ferguson, Mo.

II. Still trying to come to terms with the fact that ISIS is not the goddess of health, marriage and love as you were previously taught.

I. Whatever Brian France wants an asterisk to be this week, depending on who you are.

Now, for a ‘not so BSNews’ thought:

As I watched the race, I got to thinking about champions and the order I hold respect for them as they pertain to our sport.

First and foremost is a tie, with maybe a slight edge going to the King, between Richard Petty and Dale Earnhardt, Sr., both with seven hard won titles. Next would be Jeff Gordon, with four. Surprisingly, the more I thought about it, the more I hope Tony Stewart does indeed qualify and go on to win the championship this year.

Not because I feel sorry for him or anything, but simply because he could become the only man in the history of the sport to win four different Championships with three of them being in different formats – the third format of course being the new, bogus playoff format.

I have way more respect for that than six Chase championships. Hell, Stewart’s three Cups in two different formats is more respectable than that.

BSNews: Your first thought is our first name!

Stay off the wall,

Jeff Meyer

About Jeff Meyer

Jeff Meyer
Jeff is one of the longest-tenured staffers at Frontstretch, starting his second decade as the resident humorist and pain-in-the-butt that keeps NASCAR (and his fellow co-workers) honest. Writing Voices From The Cheap Seats, every Tuesday, his BSNews! Segments along with alter ego “Stu Padasso” have developed a large following. Jeff makes his home in Tennessee and is a Bristol groupie, camping out for the August night race every year since he can remember.

4 comments

  1. What is sad is that this parody article isn’t parody. NASCAR changes rules more often and with less reason than self absorbed high school cheerleaders change boyfriends.

  2. Wow, I guess I don’t know what Jeff is trying to say. Agree’s with the bs rule that Mike Helton and company make up as they go along, or he really wants to see the likes of Tony “win” another in yet another bs format? Either way, I am sure Mike, BZF will figure this sad event with the Ward family and make it gold for their pockets, as evidenced this weekend. It can only get worse, if Tony gets a glorious “hard fought” win next week at Richmond. Kyle Busch will be duly handled, he screwed up a script this weekend. But he might be redeemed as his two laps to go caution, does give one pause to the true meaning of the caution. MTJ was a innocent bystander so one has to ask, what logical reason with two laps to go prompted that outburst? Well, Nascar will turn a blind eye as it actually helped a HMS drivers get in on a win. It’s all good. Not like last year when BZF was livid, so Jeff got included as number 13!

    • Don’t you think MTJ being roughed up by KB which brought out the caution made it a bit more harder for KK to win? Dealing with a restart wasn’t easy for anybody Saturday night. Hey kb you gotten lighten up on this obsession with HMS. :)

      • No Dan, its not an obsession, just not looking at the business of Nascar and its major player thru rose colored glasses, all my opinion, take it or leave it. I do not think for a minute that HMS would NOT have all 5 drivers in a the Chase without all 5 getting a win. Don’t like what I wrote, don’t read. Last thing I want to do is give you a headache..