Five expletives in one sentence. I wasn’t sure if the NASCAR race was still on or if FOX was showing an early presentation of “Hell’s Kitchen,” one where Chef Gordon Ramsey — Tony Stewart in this case — found out Joey Logano’s beef ravioli wasn’t fully cooked.

Stewart sure put on a post-race show at Fontana. It had all the same ingredients of the boxing match I watched on HBO on Friday night. Punches were thrown — or at least a water bottle — trash was talked and, in the end, the sore loser went on a profanity-laced tirade vowing for revenge.

The back injury Denny Hamlin sustained at Auto Club Speedway after a last-lap, last-corner tangle with Joey Logano is not necessarily anything new to NASCAR, but an injury that flips a driver’s season upside down with multiple races missed? That’s a bit rarer these days.

Think about it; aside from Hamlin’s accident a week ago and Dale Earnhardt, Jr.’s concussion, one that caused him to sit out two races in 2012, how many debilitating injuries, to the point of having to miss a race or more in the seat, can you remember in the Sprint Cup Series over the past, say, five years?

Late Thursday, JGR officially announced Mark Martin would drive the No. 11 for the next few weeks while regular driver Denny Hamlin continues to recover …

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Though it was not all that long ago in the grand scheme of things, the Winston Cup circuit was very different back in the late 1970s and early ’80s. Back then, almost all the star drivers were still Southern-born and bred, most of them having started their careers racing late models on one of those storied old bullrings south of the Mason-Dixon line. A driver who showed promise might hope one day to land a ride with one of the “Good ol’ boy” teams, like Junior Johnson’s, Bud Moore’s, or Richard Childress’. Certainly, if that driver ever expected to have a chance at running for the championship, it was thought he needed to land a ride with an established team.

As you read this article, half the world is popping up with internet stories that may or may not be true. Your best friend may be pulling a prank, as we speak, moving your car across the street and then waiting for your frantic call, thinking it was stolen (yes, that’s happened to someone I know). All across the country, this day is a time for creating fools.

But Joe Gibbs Racing doesn’t need that type of aggravation today: all across the wires, too many of their people appear as one. The company still reels this Monday, adjusting to life without Denny Hamlin and a series of whoops! announcements from one of the sport’s professional companies that makes you think whether Chuckles the Clown mistakenly jumped in as head of PR.

Let’s be honest. Holidays are great. Most holidays mean time off work, time with family, and the best part – at least for me – good food!

However, for those of us who devote much of our time to racing, it also means there is a slight void. The afternoons we usually devote to watching side-by-side competition are now wide open. This past weekend was especially empty seeing as almost no major racing series was on track for our enjoyment. There’s just … nothing.

It’s especially troubling for the select few, like myself, who don’t have many (ahem … any) interest in sports outside of this one. To me, the “Final Four” is the last four tire pit stop of the day and the only “Shockers” I know of are when Paul Menard gets back to Victory Lane. Also, a “Bracket” reminds me of the days when I had braces and I’d really rather not think about that. I still can’t look at rubber bands the same way…