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Top 10 Alternative Punishments For Jeff Gordon

Has to spend one evening every week taking care of Jimmie’s beard with Just For Men and a little tiny comb. Also, must polish Jimmie’s Sprint Cup trophies for a month.

*10.* A deadly combo of the mullet and the porn ‘stache become mandatory for all of 2013.

*9.* Must hold Brad Keselowski’s cell phone during every race.

*8.* Ordered to become Kurt Busch’s emergency public relations representative, hired for inappropriate / crisis situations only.

*7.* Must act as Nur Ali’s permanent driver coach.

*6.* Trade rides with Dave Blaney for 2013 to see how much talent _really_ matters these days.

*5.* Clint Bowyer gets another shot at running up to that hauler door… with no cops or crew to stop him.

*4.* Has to sit at the children’s table at Sprint Cup banquet.

*3.*Forced to sit through 48 straight hours of Jimmie Johnson’s championship celebrations, set on a continuous loop.

*2.* Must write “I will not put other drivers in the wall if they are running for a championship” 100 times before he’s allowed on track for practice every week…

*1.* Has to bring back the DuPont rainbow scheme until NASCAR decides he’s learned his lesson.

*Connect with Tom!*

“Contact Tom Bowles”:https://frontstretch.com/contact/14345/

*Connect with Amy!*

“Contact Amy Henderson”:https://frontstretch.com/contact/14352/

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