Race Weekend Central

Top Ten Likely Causes For The Big One This Weekend

“I know the wife loves it, but boy does this stupid beard itch… oh, $#!&…”

*10.* Tony Stewart tries to goose Kevin Harvick on the backstretch.

*9.* Kasey Kahne and Casey Mears compare insurance policies, and there’s a heated incident with a gecko and a fire extinguisher…

*8.* Jeff Gordon, showcasing his ability to find new ways to lose this season, will be wrecked when a meteor hits the hood of his car, taking the field with him.

*7.* Someone should have stopped during the last caution for a splash of Sunoco talent.

*6.* NASCAR-mandated due to statistical need for an average of more than one wreck per race in the Chase.

*5.* Kurt Busch picks the wrong time to adjust his helmet.

*4.* Regan Smith obstructs vision of nearby drivers with his “Will Race 4 Food” sign.

*3.* Bent on proving the existence of Karma, a jet dryer returning to pit road takes a sudden right turn up the track into the No. 42.

*2.* Nuclear fallout from a Busch brother meltdown.

*1.* In a desperate attempt to attract sponsorship, some team decides to show sheet metal manufacturers they’re still needed in NASCAR.

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