Race Weekend Central

Top 10 Things Brian France Has Decided to Make Simpler for All to Understand

10. How to keep police from charging when you have a little “drunk driving” incident you’d like to sweep under the rug. If Michael Waltrip can write a book….

9. Directions for programming his new VCR. Betamax just wasn’t cutting it.

8. Explain to his staff that when he holds up two fingers, someone needs to take him poopy.

7. Revamp Connecticut’s penalties for public indecency and disorderly conduct so it is easier to get ESPN cronies out of trouble.

6. One and one and one is three. He’s got to be good looking ‘cause he’s so hard to see.

5. His divorce court records. (Thanks, Judge!)

4. Has instructed all network announcers to explain how the cars go straight for a while, then turn left and eventually come back and do it all again.

3. Has decided to buy the Rosetta Stone English program so we might figure out what he is saying after all.

2. How toilet paper works.

1. Just exactly where the damn ice, rum and coke is at all times!!!!

About the author

The Frontstretch Staff is made up of a group of talented men and women spread out all over the United States and Canada. Residing in 15 states throughout the country, plus Ontario, and widely ranging in age, the staff showcases a wide variety of diverse opinions that will keep you coming back for more week in and week out.

Sign up for the Frontstretch Newsletter

A daily email update (Monday through Friday) providing racing news, commentary, features, and information from Frontstretch.com
We hate spam. Your email address will not be sold or shared with anyone else.

Share via