Race Weekend Central

Top 10 Things Auto Club Speedway Could Do to Fill the Stands

In the spirit of diversity, and seeing as how some things never change, especially when dealing with a NASCAR race in Fontana, today’s Top 10 may look a bit different, but yet slightly familiar. Familiar in the sense that it is a slightly modified version of the one that was published last year about this time! Translation was provided by Babelfish.com, so don’t yell at me if it’s not quite right. In the spirit of “Press 1 for English”… simply scroll down!

El carretera del club auto de las cosas del Top 10 podía hacer para llenar los soportes

10. Quite cerca de 30.000 asientos.

9. Ofrezca la experiencia de conducción del OJ Simpson, completa con un par libre de guantes de conducción. (No pueden caber, a propósito…)

8. Plante la lechuga y otras formas de producto en el área de la pista de aterrizaje y grabe un uso para las máquinas segadores en cada asiento. (Usos impresos solamente en español.)

7. Substituya todas las concesiones poseídas ISC y el restaurante del duende malicioso de Wolfgang por en el & Hacia fuera soportes de la hamburguesa.

6. Haga todos los boletos disponibles solamente a los ventiladores del área de Darlington con la promesa que Brian Francia saludará personalmente a cada ventilador como entran en el carretera.

5. Mueva la raza de nuevo a Darlington, pero retitúlela “carretera de California” para el fin de semana, demuestre a em del `cuáles es una venta hacia fuera.

4. Ofrezca una experiencia libre del día de la raza a todo el uno mismo-inflated’ del `del `over-rated’, de up’, y estrellas lavadas `del childhood del `, los agentes y los actores.

3. Ofrezca la ciudadanía libre y todo a la derecha pertenecer además con cada boleto.

2. Programe un juego del pre-season del NFL para ser jugado en el área de la pista de aterrizaje durante la raza de la taza.

1. Nombre Barack Obama como presidente de la pista. Clase de una prueba, usted ve. Si él puede cambiar ESE lugar, apenas lo califican bien quizá para cosas más grandes y mejores.

(For those of you who haven’t rushed out and bought your ‘Rosetta Stone’ software yet…)

Top 10 Things Auto Club Speedway Could Do to Fill the Stands

10. Remove about 30,000 seats.

9. Offer the OJ Simpson Police Chase Driving Experience, complete with a free pair of driving gloves. (They fail to fit, by the way…)

8. Plant lettuce and other forms of produce in the infield and tape an application for harvesters on every seat. (Applications printed only in Spanish.)

7. Replace all ISC owned concessions and Wolfgang Puck’s restaurant with In & Out Burger stands.

6. Make all tickets available to only Darlington area fans with the promise that Brian France will personally greet each fan as they enter the speedway.

5. Move the race back to Darlington, but re-name it “California Speedway” for the weekend, show ‘em what a sell out is.

4. Offer a free race-day experience to all ‘washed up’, ‘overrated’, ‘self-inflated’ and ‘childhood’ stars, actors and entertainers.

3. Offer free citizenship and all rights pertaining thereto with each ticket.

2. Schedule a NFL pre-season game to be played in the infield during the Cup race.

1. Name Barack Obama as President of the track. Sort of a test, you see. If he can turn THAT place around, well just maybe he IS qualified for bigger and better things.

About the author

The Frontstretch Staff is made up of a group of talented men and women spread out all over the United States and Canada. Residing in 15 states throughout the country, plus Ontario, and widely ranging in age, the staff showcases a wide variety of diverse opinions that will keep you coming back for more week in and week out.

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