Race Weekend Central

Top 10 Reasons Tony Stewart Got Rid of His Pet Monkey, Mojo

10. Took someone’s advice literally when they said something about “getting the monkey off his back” in hopes of winning a race.

9. Since Tony’s “waxing,” the monkey is no longer needed for grooming purposes and the cost of genuine “monkey snacks” has skyrocketed.

8. The monkey was actually kidnapped by a confused Austin Powers.

7. Mojo – finally fed up with Tony’s unwillingness to lose the weight necessary to learn to properly climb fences – decided to end the relationship.

6. Tony donated it to Hendrick Motorsports, thinking it looked better on Jeff Gordon’s back.

5. Mojo kept throwing “things” at Kyle Busch during team meetings.

4. Tony lost his court case that would allow him to take Mojo in the racecar, even after citing the Tim Flock/Jocko Flocko precedent.

3. The resemblance between Kyle and Mojo was just too weird for Tony to handle.

2. Mojo accepted an offer from unnamed France family members to be the new CEO of NASCAR, thus saving the sport.

1. Apparently, Mojo joined the Simian Military.

“We will miss him, but we know this is the best thing for him. We have to let Mojo grow up and be the best patas monkey he can be.”

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