Race Weekend Central

Top 10 Things Dumber Than Buying/Building a House Near a Racetrack & Then Complaining About the Noise

Author’s note: I wanted to leave all of these 10 blank, but the editors – while agreeing that the list would indeed be factual – also felt that it would be a cop out on my part and insisted I actually list something this week. Apparently, they are onto me… note that they (the editors) are NOT on the list!

10. Trying to teach a pig to sing. (Whoops! I’m Guilty! Hey, here in Iowa, we sometimes get bored waiting for the corn to mature.)

9. Buying or leasing a racing engine from DEI.

8. Betting on Greg Biffle to win, I mean, finish a race at Talladega.

7. Most any action that begins with the sentence, “Hey y’all! Watch this!”

6. Most any action/edict that originates from the head office of NASCAR in Daytona Beach.

5. An ABC/ESPN reporter expecting a statement from Tony Stewart after a race.

4. A bumper sticker on your car that says, “I’d rather be sober!”

3. Surprising your wife with the gift of a six-pack of Slim Fast milkshakes.

2. Believing that any “reality” television show is just that.

1. Apparently, the Concord City Council, for listening to said residents and rezoning SMI’s property.

About the author

The Frontstretch Staff is made up of a group of talented men and women spread out all over the United States and Canada. Residing in 15 states throughout the country, plus Ontario, and widely ranging in age, the staff showcases a wide variety of diverse opinions that will keep you coming back for more week in and week out.

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