“I can’t believe how bad this damn beard itches in my helmet!.”
*10.* Here’s my chance to let all the air out of Brad’s coach’s tires for implying HMS is playing fast and loose with the rules.
*9.* If I hurry, I can get my favorite window seat on the Hendrick plane!
*8.* If Junior doesn’t win, they can’t say I didn’t do my part…
*7.* Cool! I finally remembered where I stashed my rainbow fright wig in the coach. Better go get it before Chandra finds it and tosses it out.
*6.* If I hurry, I can get home in time for America’s Funniest Home Videos…
*5.* Did I leave the iron on in the RV?
*4.* WWKD… What would Kyle do?
*3.* Frankly, I think some of those folks at ESPN have developed a man crush on me and it’s probably best to avoid them.
*2.* I gotta get out of this suit! That darn Gold Bond just ain’t working!
*1.* I never, ever should have had that giant Big Gulp before the race. I know—if I don’t stand still, nobody will notice the wet spot…
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