*10.* I’ve got teammates! I’ve got teammates! I’ve got teammates!
*9.* Ah, it’s probably just another telemarketer..
*8.* Hey, this Amp stuff is pretty good! I feel like I could run laps around the shop! I feel like I could run laps around Jimmie and Chad! Wheeeeee!
*10.* The way NASCAR is saying they were ‘wrong,’ by doing away with the top 35 rule.
*9.* Kurt Busch running out of gas.
*8.* Watching someone on national television covering their heart with their left hand during the National Anthem.
*10.* Tony Stewart tries to goose Kevin Harvick on the backstretch.
*9.* Kasey Kahne and Casey Mears compare insurance policies, and there’s a heated incident with a gecko and a fire extinguisher…
*8.* Jeff Gordon, showcasing his ability to find new ways to lose this season, will be wrecked when a meteor hits the hood of his car, taking the field with him.
*10.* Was updating his account on TonyStewart.com.
*9.* One word…Farmville!
*8.* Was hiding the fact that he was placing a Subway order online.
*10.* Jeff Gordon: Burns an effigy of the creator of The Chase. After all, if not for him, he’d have five, maybe six Championships.
*9.* Kyle Busch: Something different than he had been doing before the Chase, obviously.
*8.* Martin Truex, Jr.: Nothing really as he keeps forgetting that he’s actually IN the Chase.
*10.* A knife at a gun fight.
*9.* Teats on a boar.
*8.* According to ‘old farmer’, most of my Top Ten lists.
*7.* A yo-yo for a midget.
*10.* Spare helmets and water bottles on standby… just in case.
*9.* Cans of sardines mysteriously turning up under driver’s seats on a hot night.
*8.* A jet dryer all fueled up and ready to blow.
*10.* Originally, he wanted to throw a contract offer his way but now is glad he didn’t.
*9.* A piece of ‘mystery debris’ but, as is the bane of the networks, was unable to find any.
*8.* An invitation to a ‘after race party’.
*10.* Here’s my chance to let all the air out of Brad’s coach’s tires for implying HMS is playing fast and loose with the rules.
*9.* If I hurry, I can get my favorite window seat on the Hendrick plane!
*8.* If Junior doesn’t win, they can’t say I didn’t do my part…
*10.* Rick Hendrick will donate a small percentage of Dale, Jr’s winnings…in exchange for possible future Presidential Pardons
*9.* Jamie McMurray will appear on stage and pull a rabbit out of Mitt Romney’s as….er, hat.
*8.* Felix Sabates will allow all future campaign slogans to use his name, i.e. ‘Romney and Ryan (with Felix Sabates)
*10.* MOPAR engines only work their best when fully carbureted. Screw this fuel injection crap, we’re outta here!
*9.* Tired of incessant comparisons to “Dodge-Em” bumper cars every stinking time someone used the chrome horn.
*8.* “NASCAR? We don’t need no stinking NASCAR!”
*7.* Top execs running the company DO have ADHD–we’re in! We’re out! We’re in again! We’re out!–and were afraid they too would test positive for Adderall.
*10.* Loop-de-loop that doubles as Turn 4. We know it can be done after “Tanner Foust and Greg Tracy did it at the X Games!”:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e0Y8tmRYYiA
*9.* Giant sinkhole placed on the outside groove of the Tunnel Turn. Hey, it’s the drivers’ fault for saying it’s gotten too easy!
*8.* Pace car replaced by herd of local deer. Cars must follow regardless of where they wind up.
*7.* Blindfold the leader every 50 laps and see just how good his spotter really is.
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