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Top Ten Things You’ll Never Hear A NASCAR Driver Say On His Team Radio

“I wish I could grow a beard as freaking awesome as Jimmie’s.”

10. “What did you guys do to the rear end housing that is making us run so fast?”

9. “Do these springs make my rear end look illegal?”

8. “Dude, this might not be the right time to say this, but I think I love you…”

7. “I’m so glad Brian France is leading our sport. We’d be screwed if it wasn’t for him.”

6. “Think Wonder Bread would tweet about me if I made him toast?”

5. “Which button turns off the traction control?”

4. “I hate my sponsors. Why do we have to have them?”

3.“ I think something’s wrong with my GPS… I’m supposed to turn left again, right?”

2. “I really wish he’d hit me in the rear again. It kind of turns me on…”

1. “That Todd Bodine is one sexy man.”

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(Photo: Nigel Kinrade/NKP)

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