NASCAR on TV this week

Top Ten Things Going Through Tony Stewart’s Mind As He Was Being Passed By Danica Patrick

“Ok, new company rule. Whoever finishes first has to be able to grow a beard at least as bad as Johnson’s. And I’m the only one who can do that!”

10. Obi-Wan has taught you well…

9. I guess Go Daddy really does run at high speeds!

8. We need to stop giving her Jimmie Johnson’s old motors.

7. Looks like someone needs a little Smoke blown up her tailpipe!

6. I really need to rethink my stance on blocking.

5. Maybe that extra Martinsville hot dog wasn’t such a good idea.

4. Somehow, this is all Joey Logano’s fault.

3. Maybe keeping her in Nationwide another year wasn’t such a bad idea.

2. Crap! I was only supposed to teach her everything she knows, not everything _I _ know … just for that, I’ll be the one smashing the next soda can on her forehead.

1. I don’t care where Danica finishes. Where’s Newman? I want my free Bloomin’ Onion!

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