Race Weekend Central

Top Ten Ways To Celebrate A Daytona 500 Victory: The Jimmie Johnson Edition

Attempt to suck champagne out of beard using a Flowbee.

*10.* Wear a multi-colored wig in Victory Lane –oh, wait, already did that.

*9.* Surf on a golf cart–no, damn it, did that, too.

*8.* Surf on the hauler—what do you mean ‘oh, hell, no, not after the golf cart incident?!’

*7.* Do lots of donuts—what do you mean, ‘Jimmie, don’t tear up the car?!’ Um, oops…

*6.* Make guest appearance on “R U Faster Than a Redneck?”.

*5.* Thank Junior for remembering what that fifty was for.

*4.* Remind Knaus he only has _one_ Daytona 500 win.

*3.* Publicly congratulate Danica on her eighth-place finish. Back at the hauler, brood over how she gets her eyebrows to look so good.

*2.* Invite the guys over for a tea party with Evie, complete with tiaras and pink feather boas.

*1.* “Do the Harlem Shake in the tri-oval”:https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=82s9PmJOAJ8 –nah, Johnson is way to vanilla to do a thing like _that_; it’d never happen…

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