NASCAR on TV this week

Top 10 Sponsors Currently Courting Kurt Busch & Phoenix Racing

10. WWE. They allow anything over there!

9. Rick Hendrick. Oh, wait, he already is behind the scenes. Next!

8. The band Crash Test Dummies.

7. Starburst (get it? He was a star but now … oh, never mind!)

6. Charlie Sheen and his new show on FX, Anger Management.

5. Maury Povich. Rumor has it Jerry and Maury may even duke it out on live television; the winner gets to sponsor Kurt.

4. Any local law firm whose motto is something like “Turn that wreck into a check!”

3. Orbitz gum. For a clean mouth no matter what.

2. Bobby’s Gourmet Elephant Ears.

1. Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?

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