Race Weekend Central

Top 10 Things Chad Knaus Has Been Doing Lately … Again!

Author’s note: Normally I don’t do re runs of a Top 10 but ever since NASCAR made Chad Knaus do a C-section on Jimmie Johnson’s car at Daytona and his resulting fine and pending suspension, I had a nagging sense of deja-vu! Turns out I wasn’t going mad or senile after all! Apparently Chad felt the need revisit the schedule he had a scant six years ago … with a few minor changes.

10. Monday – Lay sulking in bed all day with the covers over his head.

9. Tuesday AM – Send an artfully arranged bouquet of sticks and dead flowers to Mike Helton. (AND Brian France this time too!)

8. Tuesday PM – Spend some “quality time” with significant other.

7. Wednesday AM – Sign up for free trial of Trackpass offered during Speedweek (under a new IP address).

6. Wednesday PM – Spend MORE “quality time” with significant other.

5. Thursday AM – Wake up, remember where he is, lay sulking in bed with the covers over his head ‘till noon. (Calls Denny Hamlin and Kurt Busch for the number of their ‘sports psychologist’)

4. Thursday PM – Get dragged to see Brokeback Mountain for YET MORE “quality time” with significant other. (This time it was The Artist.)

3. Friday AM – Decides to prepare taxes himself online for the first time. Waits for a return call from Todd Berrier on the deductibility of NASCAR fines. (Can’t remember what Todd said last time so he deducted it listed as ‘misc. shop supplies.’)

2. Saturday – Spend all day praying the folks at the IRS aren’t as sharp as the NASCAR Inspection guys. (Wonders if some of the IRS guys are moonlighting as NASCAR inspectors.)

1. Sunday – Decides he has “had it up to here” with “quality time!” Vows to NEVER cheat again! (Vows to NEVER to never vow not to cheat again and is just pissed he got caught!)

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