NASCAR on TV this week

Top 10 Things to Look Forward To When NASCAR Celebrates in Las Vegas

10. NASCAR, in an attempt to fill the auditorium, drops off a set of free tickets at every strip club. Clothing optional. (Hey, they can’t make it look empty.)

9. Kyle Busch visits the Ethel M Chocolate Factory and Botanical Cactus Garden, is denied entry and winds up in a “sticky” situation.

8. Tony and Carl jump into some sand buggys and finally settle it on dirt.

7. NASCAR, at the last minute, moves the whole shindig to Omaha because Vegas is the hometown of the Busch brothers and they don’t need that kind of publicity.

6. Brian France gets drunk, spills his “beverage” and runs into a palm tree stump.

5. Dr. Jerry Punch interviews a homeless person who demonstrates remarkably more class than Kurt Busch.

4. Brian France implements the beginnings of a future divorce when he suddenly chooses to “interact with the fans” given free tickets after the banquet.

3. Ironically, Jeremy Mayfield shows up at a filming of Pawn Stars, trying to sell Chum Lee some construction equipment.

2. The Busch brothers are shown repeatedly on television and curiously are always sitting alone.

1. Carl Edwards loses vast amounts of money at the gaming tables but no one can remember anyone losing that much with such grace.

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