10. Change his name to “Keni” so the other NASCAR drivers will stop making fun of him.
9. Hang out with Charlie Sheen so maybe he, too, can be WINNING!
8. Hang out at the Uptown Cabaret in downtown Charlotte.
7. Take Dancing With the Stars by storm.
6. Ditto American Idol. No wait, that won’t work… he’s Finnish.
5. Get someone to loan him a fancy Lexus like Kyle Busch.
4. Date Danica.
3. Try his hand at NASCAR (but harder this time).
2. Collect money for the Alabama and Missouri tornado victims.
1. Secure a dual sponsorship, combining Perky Jerky and ExtenZe so people will REALLY love his meat.
About the author
The Frontstretch Staff is made up of a group of talented men and women spread out all over the United States and Canada. Residing in 15 states throughout the country, plus Ontario, and widely ranging in age, the staff showcases a wide variety of diverse opinions that will keep you coming back for more week in and week out.
A daily email update (Monday through Friday) providing racing news, commentary, features, and information from Frontstretch.com
We hate spam. Your email address will not be sold or shared with anyone else.