10. Pulverize a water bottle before and after the race.
9. Remove Mike Ford’s foot from his mouth so he can better understand him on the radio.
8. By not pulling a Michael Waltrip and showing up at the wrong track.
7. By not pulling a Michael Waltrip and… racing like Michael Waltrip.
6. Berate crew on the radio… because that’s very motivating.
5. Convince Jimmie Johnson that thumb rings are a fashion no-no.
4. Two steps: Drug Johnson. Remove horseshoe.
3. No pickup basketball!
2. When lapping Sam Hornish Jr., give him plenty of room.
1. Win the race, lead the most laps, deliver a curse-free victory lane interview and watch Chad Knaus’s head explode.
About the author
The Frontstretch Staff is made up of a group of talented men and women spread out all over the United States and Canada. Residing in 15 states throughout the country, plus Ontario, and widely ranging in age, the staff showcases a wide variety of diverse opinions that will keep you coming back for more week in and week out.