Race Weekend Central

Top 10 (Plus 5) Reasons Wal-Mart Will Not Be Sponsoring Jeff Gordon

15. Jeff Gordon never worked in a Chinese sweat shop.

14. Ingrid refused to put the children in anything that comes off the rack.

13. His racecar is not made in China.

12. They can get the same exposure touting Sam’s Club on Sam Hornish Jr.’s car at half the price.

11. Wal-Mart refused to guarantee Gordon a job as a Wal-Mart greeter when his career ends because he doesn’t look creepy enough.

10. They found Rick Hendrick actually treats his employees well and cares about their health, future and well-being.

9. Look around. Being associated with NASCAR is becoming bad for business.

8. They really wanted Dale Earnhardt Jr. because he has been spotted several times at Wal-Mart buying Wrangler jeans.

7. The Target car has kicked his ass all year.

6. Gordon’s proposed driving suit looked stupid with the giant smiley face on the back.

5. Wal-Mart decided the nation’s top retailer deserved a top driver.

4. Wal-Mart wanted to sponsor in bulk and wanted their name on all the Hendrick cars.

3. Brian France stepped in because he’d be damned if, after all his ass-kissing in China a couple years ago, Wal-Mart goes and sponsors a race team and not the sanctioning body.

2. Hendrick Motorsports refused to dump Pepsi and AMP for Sam’s Choice.

1. Negotiations broke off because Wal-Mart execs wanted to Save More and Live Better, while Hendrick execs wanted them to Pay More for Jeff to Drive Better.

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The Frontstretch Staff is made up of a group of talented men and women spread out all over the United States and Canada. Residing in 15 states throughout the country, plus Ontario, and widely ranging in age, the staff showcases a wide variety of diverse opinions that will keep you coming back for more week in and week out.

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