Race Weekend Central

Top 10 Reasons Kevin Conway Isn’t Running the Extenze Car at Daytona

10. He has yet to confirm Brian France as his friend on Facebook.

9. NASCAR’s recently announced banned substance list clearly states no “performance-enhancing drugs.”

8. Turns out the exhaust pipes on the Extenze car are way over spec.

7. NASCAR officials are still unsure what the effects of an accidental woody would be in such proximity to the steering wheel. I know I’d have one if I were driving in the Daytona 500 for the first time!

6. Respected veteran Mark Martin has objected to Kevin and the sponsor’s participation on moral grounds.

5. Kevin just won’t stop pushing the product in the garage into the face of anyone who will look… I mean listen.

4. Television and NASCAR censors are still debating about Extenze’s new slogan, a play off President Teddy Roosevelt’s famous quote, “Speak softly but carry a big stick!”

3. Officials fear Kevin’s car may have a slight advantage if it were to come down to a photo finish against another competitor.

2. Hey, they never ever really let “Enzyte Bob” run in NASCAR, either. That was just a commercial, people!

1. After trying a sample at Kevin’s request, Brian France claims that all it did for him was to make his head swell up to the point his cap didn’t fit. I guess it really does work!

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