Top 10 NASCAR Rumors You Haven’t Heard … Until Now!

Special thanks to Tom Bowles, Toni Heffelfinger and Jeff Meyer for their assistance in “collecting” this information!

10. We are hearing that Mark Martin‘s pending 2007 NASCAR Truck Series contract with Roush Racing prohibits him from winning EVERY race. He must “throw” one once in a while and place second.

9. Word is that in an unprecedented bipartisan effort, both the Democrats and the GOP will co-sponsor a Nextel Cup Series car. However, early testing has been a disappointment, as the car just sits there and spins its wheels.

8. With Morgan Shepherd qualifying for two Nextel Cup races in a row, word is that NASCAR has made a revision to its rulebook and has asked Shepherd to stop using divine intervention to help his cause. NASCAR is sure this will level the playing field, as even God has to play by their rules.

7. Rumor has it that Dave Blaney has had back-to-back top-10 finishes in the last two races, although it cannot be confirmed because of a severe lack of coverage by the media of anyone outside of the top-10 drivers. We’ve heard that to resolve this problem, Blaney has decided to change his name to Dave Harvick Hamlin Kenseth Gordon Burton Martin Earnhardt Kahne Johnson Busch Blaney Jr.

6. Following their recent announcement of the acquisition of the NASCAR Canadian Tire Series (formerly known as CASCAR), NASCAR is considering moving all NASCAR Canadian Tire Series races to noon on Wednesdays. This would allow the Nextel Cup Series drivers and teams to participate, giving them more testing time since the current 35-race test session (also known as the Busch Series) simply is not enough.

5. Sources say that against the advice of those close to him, Jeff Gordon has decided to skip the prenuptial agreement when he marries his current fiancee. It seems that if the split should ever happen, Gordon would find nothing funnier than watching one ex-wife sue the other in an effort to get his money.

4. Frontstretch columnist Jeff Meyer is putting the final touches on the recently formed Brian France Fan Club. Meyer promises an interactive experience where fans get to take turns as the head of NASCAR, with responsibilities that include: making decisions to further alienate the root fanbase, copycatting stick-and-ball sports and changing diapers of two newborns.

3. Frontstretch Webmaster/Publisher Ren Jonsin will be named as the third MWR Toyota driver with sponsors The Pussycat Club, Smith & Wesson and Captain Morgan. Jonsin was quoted as saying, “With support from a Japanese auto maker, a strip club, a gun manufacturer and a brand of hard liquor, I am sure to get hate mail from more than just Ward Burton‘s fans.”

2. After his appearance as part of the Top 10 on The Late Show with David Letterman, Matt Kenseth‘s wife Katie has been secretly meeting with Viagra representatives about a return to NASCAR and Roush Racing, this time sponsoring Matt’s No. 17.

1. Following the trend of “sex sells” on television, producers of Live With Regis and Kelly want to go with a sexier NASCAR guest as a fill-in for Regis, and because of that, frequent fill-in host Gordon was recently told that he is being replaced by his Hendrick teammate … Kyle Busch.