Wednesday , July 30 2014
Home / Voices From the Cheap Seats (page 10)

Voices From the Cheap Seats

Be Prepared, The Real Hype Starts AFTER Homestead

Be Prepared, The Real Hype Starts AFTER Homestead

This is a public service announcement provided to the real NASCAR fan by the author of this column. Moments after the checkered flag flies this coming Sunday, you will be told what you have witnessed this past racing season. You will be told that you have been privy to perhaps the most exciting and thrilling NASCAR championship in modern history. You will be told that you, the fan, begged for this finish and that NASCAR, or more importantly, Brian France, has given you exactly what you have asked for. Read More »

NASCAR’s “Stupidity” Over Middle Finger Is Actually The Right Call

NASCAR’s “Stupidity” Over Middle Finger Is Actually The Right Call

I have a beloved colleague here at Frontstretch.com by the name of Mike Neff. You may have heard of him before. He does a lot of great writing for us, and he is _almost as popular_ as me. Mike and I usually agree on most things, right down to political candidates - let alone anything to do with racing - so imagine my surprise over "his latest article":http://groups.google.com/group/thefrontstretch/browse_thread/thread/888435f3651f24de calling the recently announced fine of Kyle Busch’s unauthorized flight pattern of his middle finger “a new level of stupidity” by NASCAR. Read More »

Voices From the Heartland: BSNews! Real NASCAR News Only Slightly Altered

*Trained monkeys will sell race programs at Texas*: Texas Motor Speedway President Eddie Gossage has decided to monkey around with the promotion of the redesigned "No Limits" program cover and special insert that can be found in AAA Texas 500 souvenir program. Gossage is enlisting the help of Brian and Mike, trained capuchin monkeys, to sell the race programs throughout the AAA Texas 500 NASCAR triple-header race weekend. Brian and Mike will make their first public appearance Friday, Nov. 5, from 2:30-4 p.m. CT at the infield Hot Rod Café. They will return and be stationed on the concourse at Gate 4 on Saturday, Nov. 6, from 9:30-11:30 a.m. prior to the start of the Nationwide Series O'Reilly Auto Parts Challenge and Sunday, Nov. 7, from Noon-2 p.m. before the start of the Sprint Cup Series AAA Texas 500. Read More »

Voices From the Heartland: NASCAR and Automakers Still Beating a Dead Horse

Voices From the Heartland: NASCAR and Automakers Still Beating a Dead Horse

Let me set this straight right off the bat. It is OKAY to beat a dead horse. Pointless, yes, but not socially unacceptable. Beating a LIVE horse is when people, not to mention the horse, get a little pissy. Now that we've cleared that up… The horse in question for the purposes of this article is, once again, the old adage of “Win on Sunday, Sell on Monday." This carcass rears (if a carcass could "rear") its ugly head once again due to NASCAR’s recent announcement that they are looking to revamp the Cup cars... again. Read More »

Making A Mockery Of How The Chase Makes A Mockery Of Racing

Making A Mockery Of How The Chase Makes A Mockery Of Racing

Well kids, here we are once again. NASCAR’s season is over, evidenced by the fact that football has started! Oh, yeah I forgot. We still have this "Chase" playoff system thingy to suffer through yet so once again, I will extol the virtues of getting rid of it! Before I begin, though, let me say a few things (again) about racing in general. First of all, we all know the Chase is Brain Fart’s idea of competing against the NFL during this time of year. It came about because Matt Kenseth, throughout the course of the 2003 season, had the audacity to win only one damn race, while Ryan Newman won eight - yet Kenseth claimed to be the champion! Read More »

Voices From the Heartland: Look Around People, the Bubble Has Burst!

Voices From the Heartland: Look Around People, the Bubble Has Burst!

_Earlier this year a trusted colleague, who just happens to be more ‘connected’ than myself, told me to hold on. NASCAR as we have come to know it is in for some big changes. In the end, this particular colleague said that while these changes may sting for a bit, just like a child who gets a vaccination, it would eventually work out for the good._ _Now whether this prediction turns out to be as painful as it sounds, we simply do not know yet. However, it did give me a sense of déjà vu. Where had I heard that before? Ah yes! Here it is…from over 4 years ago! The following was written by me in May of 2006. Usually I just link stuff like this, but I feel it needs to actually be re-read. I have added some current commentary and/or quotes that will be in italics, just as this intro has been._ Read More »

As A Sponsor, Respect For ExtenZe Grows Bigger

There are a few things that I hate in this world. I don’t "hate" a lot, mostly because it is a waste of time, but there are a few things that really get my loathing up. Among those are; stupid people, stupid products, and stupid commercials, in no particular order. Unfortunately, stupid products usually go hand in hand with even stupider commercials… leading me to wonder if the people starring in them or endorsing the product, are stupid as well. I mean, who in their right mind would want their claim to fame to be endorsing a stupid product or acting in a stupid commercial? Such has been my opinion of ExtenZe ever since I saw their very first commercial. Read More »

Too Much Time On Someone’s Hands

Too Much Time On Someone’s Hands

Despite qualifying on the pole for last Sunday’s race at Watkins Glen, when it came to race time, RK-656 just didn’t have what it took to hold the lead. When they crossed the start/finish line to complete Lap 1, #1012 from the Ganassi stable was pacing the field in his place. A relative newcomer to NASCAR racing, RK-656 has a record of four starts, two of those being top fives. Debuting in Cup competition in June of ’09, RK-656 soldiered to a 13th-place finish. Later that year, the first of those top 5s, a third-place result, was recorded in August. In 2010, however, things did not start out so well for RK-656 as a 29th-place finish was the best it could muster before last Sunday where it finished 5th. Be that as it may, the real racing at the Glen last Sunday was between another Ganassi entry, #1014, and a foreigner, of whom there was no information available. This was the very first race for the #1014. The only other time it was on the track was during a test session in Virginia back in June. Read More »

BSNews! NASCAR Announces Airbags Coming Soon

BSNews! NASCAR Announces Airbags Coming Soon

In light of Elliott Sadler’s "horrific, almost head-on collision," as it is being described by NASCAR officials at Pocono last Sunday, one NASCAR insider has announced that airbags will be required in all race cars in 2011. That "NASCAR insider" has asked to remain anonymous, due to the fact that he/she doesn’t want to get fined by the sanctioning body for speaking the truth. Read More »

Gateway Melee Overshadows Great Driving By NASCAR Up-And-Comer

Gateway Melee Overshadows Great Driving By NASCAR Up-And-Comer

Remember, just a couple of weeks ago, when Carl Edwards shoved Brad Keselowski out of his way to win the Missouri-Illinois Dodge Dealers 250 at Gateway International Raceway? Remember the carnage and controversy that followed? Remember the heated discussions and name-calling that took place in the "comments" section at the bottom of this very column? Remember "this video":http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JZY-ZeQU9yg&feature=email I posted documenting that carnage? Good! I’m glad you remember... but forget about all that for now! Well, not all of it, as I want you to focus on the video once again - just forget about Carl and Brad! The car I want you to focus on is the No. 99 Out! Pet Care Toyota, driven by the young Trevor Bayne. The point at which to focus on him is about 23 seconds into "the video":http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JZY-ZeQU9yg&feature=email as the field enters turn 3 for the final time. Go ahead, cue it up and hit "Play." I’ll wait. Read More »